Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Ready For Bread

Sorry about yesterday. It looked awful and was impossible to read. Maybe I'll alter it for this space sometime. Hope this post makes amends.


107 Year Old Hermit Injured in Knob Road Accident

Freeman City, Tn. – Unseen since 1962, a hermit once described as the torment of the knobs surprised a soccer mom and her two kids when he darted from the woods into the path of their SUV on the Lonely Hollow Road near Freeman City.

            “He came out of nowhere,” said Cathy Martin, driver of the SUV.  “I hit the brakes as hard as I could, but the bumper just nicked his leg and he fell in a ditch.  When I got out to check on him I couldn’t believe my eyes.  He looked just like the hillbillies on the old soda pop bottles: no shoes, frayed cuffs, a big, droopy hat, the whole bit.”

            Martin immediately dialed 911.  “They got here real quick.  In our little county hearses double as ambulances, and one of the homes had a near-by funeral.  The old man tried to run when they stopped,” she said.

            Old man indeed.  Martin, a newcomer to the area, didn’t know the story, but Doc McFee, a lifelong Freeman City resident and nephew of Dan McFee, who wrote a 1970's book about a local hermit, knew the tale and was shocked.

            “Once I understood his name, Reese Torbett, I nearly fell to the floor.  After I examined him, I checked my uncle’s book and asked his birth date.  Just like in the book, he said November 6, 1899.  He’s got the physique and energy of a forty year old.  Except for his leg, I’ve never seen a healthier elderly man,” said Dr. McFee.

            According to McFee, Torbett, once a household topic in Freeman City, turned into a hermit after a spurned romance in the late 1930's.  “His girl left him and he left us to live like a
wild man in the woods and knobs.”

           After a nomadic existence that lasted for many years, Torbett thought he’d found a home
when he settled in a cave under a waterfall at the end of an isolated cove.  Isolated, that is, until bulldozers showed up one morning and started scrapping everything away to build an exclusive community.

            “I asked him why he came out toward town and he complained about all the new building and habitation going on in the woods.  Said it was getting too crowded.  Chased away a lot of what he was eating,” said Dr. McFee.

            Though sightings of Torbett were always rare, the last report was made by a hunting party which encountered him in 1962.  “He was faster than any deer I ever seen,” said Ike Lundy, a member of the 62 party.  “He come through camp in a blur, nabbed a stake off the grill and kept a-goin’.  No use to chase him cause he went right into the rough stuff.  Dog couldn’t a-caught him.”

            Mr. Torbett has responded well to treatment and Dr. McFee thinks he’ll be able to leave

the clinic soon.  But will he want to?  “So far he hasn’t tried to run away,” the doctor said, “and he

seems more friendly.  You should have seen him when the nurses fed him ice cream.  They made a

friend for life.”

Breaking News – Nurse Falls for 107 Year Old Hermit

            “It’s love and we’re getting married,” said Ruth Harris, nurse to 107 year old hermit Reese Torbett.  “After I fed him ice cream, I knew he was the man for me.”

            “I wish them all the luck in the world,” said Dr. McFee, in whose clinic the couple met and fell in love.  “It’s a storybook tale if I ever heard one.”

           And how much time does Mr. Torbett have left?  “It’s up to God; I’m just a doctor,” McFee said.
            “A decade, a year, a day, I don’t care,” said Harris.  “The important thing is that we’re together now.”


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